The spear sent both dummies smack dab onto a tree. Blardy, blardy, blar. She’s not the boss of me. The dictator ran off as Shrek then swooped in, but instead of going after the deal maker who stole his birth, he scooped up Donkey in one swipe and flew into another room, with Donkey screaming for help. Then he went near a goose, roaring at it, causing the goose to plop out an egg in fear. Cookie: Hey, everybody. She got caught in the tree with her kicking feet sticking out. Let’s cash it now. Rumpelstiltskin: And, in return, you sign the kingdom of Far Far Away (gives a menacing look) over to me. Not paying attention to Donkey, Shrek just raced through the castle, breathing desperately. Donkey noticed Shrek not singing, laughing or cheering. Then Fifi, who looked more wooden than real, let out a flute-like squeak rather than a honk, to the ogres' notice. In a later scene, donkey references an adult joke Shrek made about "compensation", saying- "Shrek says he's compensating for something, but I think that means he has a really small-" but is cut off by Shrek punching him. Here, let me show you how it’s done. It’s what you’ve done. I guess it'll have to do. Shrek: Fine! The pigs stood there with frosting on their lips, looking guilty. That is outrageous!! Spoils of War (Three Kings) By John Ridley 7/26/95 writers first draft script in html format Host Site Movie Scripts Online genre(s): Drama, Comedy, … Then one of the bracelets fell off Shrek's wrist. Shrek covered the whimpering Donkey's mouth, while the ogres looked up, and saw three of the witches flying up over the forest on their brooms. Darling I do. He set the cake down at the table Fiona was at. I’ve been kidnapped by a deranged, unbalanced ogre! Permalink: Shrek. Gather the others and meet me in the war room. No. He was now wearing a hair net (despite the fact he had no hair) and a smock. Puss: Look, Donkey, the chimichanga cart! Donkey: Hey, Uncle Shrek! Donkey: You know, when I lose something, I always try to retrace my steps. With Shrek and Donkey, the two continued riding the broom, with the latter still panicking and struggling to get out of the ogre's grip. Rumpelstiltskin: Recently, a certain somebody has jeopardized our joyous lives. Fiona smiled warmly, and the parents then heard their kids playfully roaring. Onions have layers. He then reached his pocket and handed her the squeaky ogre plush toy he magically came back into this world with. Brogan: Please! Back at the resistance camp, a meeting was being held inside a tree, with Shrek and Donkey, who was untied, looking from the outside through some holes in the trees. Then everyone else inside, minus Shrek, who was holding Felicia and Fergus, sang along. Shrek: Wow. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Heck no, I don't like no parfait"? Do the roar. Rumpelstiltskin: But you are an ogre…(peeks out) aren’t you? He’s devious. Shrek: (Puts Felicia's toy down and talks to her Softly) Please, Felicia, not in daddy's ear. Shrek It ain't easy bein' green -- especially if you're a likable (albeit smelly) ogre named Shrek. He then grabbed a hanging shop's sign, swung over the bar, removing the sign and leaping onto a roof, surfing over it like a surfboard and in the process, the surfing removed the shingles. Shrek: I AM her true love. This movie is known for DreamWorks animation and a entertainment video film. Get…it's impossible to put on! Then they were surprised further to see the short foe riding on Fifi, who was flying upwards so they could make their escape. The beloved animated comedy turned the traditional fairytale on its head, appealed to adults as much as children and spawned multiple sequels including a spin-off film for Puss in Boots! I have got to save Shrek! Donkey: Hey, you have to take me to dinner first. Princess Fiona: theres an arrow inyour butt Princess Fiona: There's an arrow in your butt. Someone, anyone! His legs also started glowing as he fell down. Mabel, wearing service clothes as well, walked by. Now tell me! He saw something behind the tapestry of a knight on a steed. Tell me to E-I-E-I-O. The two smiled warmly before kissing with their babies hugging them, while everyone cheered. Shrek: (frowns) You’ve gotta be kidding me. Doris: Isn’t he cute? Shrek: "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. The short man quickly crawled away from the carriage. Shrek: I know everything about you. Shrek: RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!! Fiona I need to talk to you. Because because he s just marrying you so he can be King. He plucked a feather from Fifi and dipped in the magic ink jar. He’s deceitful. Ogre #3: Look at him, all dressed up in his Sunday vest. Man's Voice: But she was possessed by a terrible curse. There is no tomorrow. As he walked across the desk, he unknowingly knocked over the ink jar, spilling ink over the spot where Pinocchio signed half his name in cursive. Rumpelstiltskin: You know, actually not a bad idea. The place looked like a complete dried-up wasteland. True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything! Shrek: All right, Rumpel, what’s going on? It's a compliment. Gingy: Don't try to fight it, ogre! There's no day after that, and there's no day after THAT day after that! Rumpelstiltskin: "King for a Month." Onions have layers. Shrek and Fiona danced near the ogre army, and ended up in the center of them, with Fiona spotting the Piper. You’re gonna have to pay for that. They cheered a bit, before continuing their eating. 2x21. He breathed fire at her, almost hitting her and barely blackening Shrek's snout. Shrek: Ogres are like onions. Besides, he does come highly recommended by King Midas. That's a whole lot of kitty! He was in fact the Pied Piper. Villager 2: (holds up his torch) And our torches? All right, everyone, you know the drill! Chah! The other ogres chattered in agreement, while outside, Shrek and Donkey looked concerned. Shrek: That means you have to give me anything I want. Then Shrek roared at everyone inside the church, making them all scream and leave the church. She looked at the puppet behind her and shook her head. There is wonder in most everything that I see. Inside the home, Shrek and Fiona were asleep in their bed until awakened by a squeaking noise. Donkey: Come on Shrek, it’s a sing-along. And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye We’ll be concealed along this road, waiting for his caravan. He started rummaging through his deal scrolls. Puss and Donkey glance at each other. He dipped his finger in the frosting of the cupcake and licked the frosting right off, giving a malicious grin. Shrek: If she thinks I’m gonna slink back there and apologize, she’s got another thing coming. Then suddenly he and the witches heard a familiar voice singing from out of nowhere. We then see a puppet show with one puppet attacking an ogre puppet with a prop stick, with all the kids watching encouraging the puppet to beat the ogre. Rumpelstiltskin got out a rolled up contract and smacked the wolf away. When the blowing was done, the resistance ogres hooted and laughed while Shrek was even more stunned than already. Fiona: Okay, (begins tying) the dragon goes under the bridge, through the loop, and finally, into the castle. I’m gonna just hang back here and find us some breakfast! "Being happy doesn’t mean you don’t have issues. (takes a sip of an eyeball-tini) You are free to pillage and terrorize as you please. He thought it was nothing, but then there were two more quick figures flying above him. Donkey: Hey, Shrek! Of course, Shrek was not affected by this at all. As Rumpelstiltskin got out a knife and fork, he smirked secretly. Shrek sighs deeply. Get away from it. And another thing... Donkey: Wait a minute. When the witch was knocked down by the snack, Donkey was impressed. Parfaits are delicious. Rumpelstiltskin: I don't know. The film was critically acclaimed as an animated film worthy of adult interest, with many adult-oriented jokes and themes, but a simple enough plot and humor to appeal to children. Fiona: Gretched, make sure everyone is prepared to move out tonight. Synopsis: When Fiona's father and King of Far Far Away passes away, the clumsy Shrek becomes the immediate successor of the throne. The noises woke up Puss, who was sleeping on an upper ledge. Lookin' down on creation While this happened, Rumpelstiltskin could only watch helplessly and in despair. There was a spark, a spark inside her heart I thought was long extinguished. Then he stormed out of the diner in anger. She continued trying to hit him as he blocked her with the shield. Oh, they make... Shrek. Thank you. No more diaper rash! Y’all gonna be really hungry after this ambush, okay? The witches all cackled as they dove in, flying in a circle around the swamp. He headed over to see who it was, and in the middle of the forest, the cries of help (or so Shrek believes) came from Rumpelstiltskin, whose legs were underneath his carriage, making it appear as his carriage was broken down on top of him. Fiona then saw a star whizzing by. Watch your back. Nuh-uh! Puss: (yawns) Well, I do get brushed twice a day. Get them, witches! (to one of the witches) Baba? Rumpelstiltskin: I don’t know who that is. She’s gonna think I’m crazy. He grabbed the contract with his teeth and placed it on the ground, starting to fold the paper. He then went to an old lady with a hearing horn. He even surfed onto another roof, swung around a weather vane, hopped onto another roof and surfed down that one as well. That's not all he saw. The Princess! They don't see you like I do Later, he hoped to have some alone time and drink his eyeball-tini in his armchair, but Donkey showed up again. Finally! The ogre ran up to the hole, lifting the lid, seeing Donkey lying there. Slug and tonic? He looked down and saw Gingy hitting and attacking his feet with his lollipop. Back at the palace, the three pigs were busy taking care of Fifi, and they were disgusted with doing so. Get him! Rumpelstiltskin: (grins) What a coincidence! Two Scenes, One Dialogue: With a mix of Finishing Each Other's Sentences, during the scene where Shrek and Fiona first arrive in Far Far Away, both them and Fiona's parents bicker within their respective pairs as they walk to greet each other, with each line cutting out to be finished by other side, humorously with the finished line carrying the exact opposite connotation of its … Helstrom may be over, but it's a solid bet that Hamza Fouad , who played San Francisco cop Derrick Jackson, will be back in the genre space again soon. What are you doing in my swamp? (smirks) Now, there’s a day I’d like to take back. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. Donkey: OK, yeah, fine! The babies whooped and laughed with excitement as Dragon soared through the clouds. He whipped out his flute halves, placing them together, and beginning to play it. You can’t end tyranny on an empty stomach! Alright, let's dive in. scene description and script in html format Host Site Classic Movie Scripts genre(s): Drama. Forget it, no big d. It doesn’t matter. Donkey: You know what’d help morale around here? — You may be looking for Shrek (character) or Shrek (series). I mean, I’m not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever, but what I am screaming is, yo, check out this kazing thazing bazaby. Shrek grabbed Donkey and the sticks he was still attached to. She turned into a beautiful ogre and they lived…. If Fiona and I share true love’s kiss, I will get my life back! Instead, he used a magic flute to make a small pack of mice carrying him all the way on their backs. Shrek: Get in there. Next, we see instances of the babies drinking and belching, and of Shrek throwing a diaper away in the pale in the Winter, on a rainy day, and in the Spring. The deal maker was excited as he stood up on his desk. You spent half your life in a palace. (to another witch) You! Rumpelstiltskin: No, Shrek. I’ll be your best friend. Shrek then frowned in anger before leaving the structure. I’m stuck! She and the other ogres (except Shrek) went to their battle stations. Shrek: I guess there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little time for myself. It was no use though, he didn't even scare himself. The song "Top of the World" by the Carpenters began to play as Shrek left the forest and went on his way to the nearest village. But you know what? Shrek: (rolls eyes) They would never do that. Then his nose grew and hit Rumpelstiltskin in the face, making the deal maker shout in pain as he swatted it out of his face. In Fiona's tent, the resistance leader herself was practicing witch-striking while blindfolded, waiting for any witches to strike. Brogan and Gretched were on guitars, while Cookie was on the drums. With that, the witches' dancing halted, ending with involuntary dancer poses as the three panted, and the piper ended his tune. Donkey: Hey, everybody! Shrek: Wait a minute. And say. What? He laughed, and the short man forced a laugh. The other four witches flew through the sky, and created a rainbow pattern with magic dust. She used her foot to spring a spear up off the ground, take the spear and throw it like a javelin at the dummy, knocking it off and hitting the witch-on-cage dummy as well. It seems like you can handle yourself. Donkey only gave an "I don't know" kind of mumble before trying to take a little nibble of the waffles, but Shrek kept protesting against it. Shrek then pounded the cage angrily as he saw something definitely different, and to his horror, it was most of the letters of the Far, Far Away sign destroyed. Edit . His baby daughter looked at him with big, happy, blue eyes. As he saw all the other posters, he began breathing harder. As they went inside, Shrek was in horror to see how different the castle grounds looked, and he passed something he definitely hadn't seen before: two ogres pushing the gear that controls the gates. Puss's Voice: You should not be here, senior. Some time after changing Fergus, Shrek went outside with the full rotten diaper, heading to the diaper pale. Rumpelstiltskin: (interrupts) But you haven’t heard the best part. (smacks him in the rear) Go! Is this really how you want to remember the kids’ first birthday? She removed her helmet, and revealed to be none other than Fiona (in ogre form). Near a tree, a couple was about to have a picnic when Shrek, in normal garb, appeared hanging upside-down from a branch, roaring, scaring off the couple before he took the chicken leg and chomped it. But the original will always be the best in our eyes. Shrek's face faltered as he looked over at Fiona worryingly. Cookie: Hey! When all was settled, Fiona and Shrek looked to each other. Then the deal maker rolled out a contract he had for the royal couple to sign. It’s not like you’re a real ogre. I’m an ogre and I’m not gonna apologize for acting like one. "The End" We see Shrek's hand closing the book to his own story, before placing the book up on a shelf, but the story is not quite over just yet. Rumpelstiltskin: Dazzling, radiant fulfilment! The group huddled in closer together, with the two palace guard witches curious, wondering what they're talking about. The main event of the evening! He slammed the door. He chuckled a bit again, impressed by the accidentally successful hit, but then when he leaned on the weapon bucket, he knocked it over. Rumpelstiltskin: As you can see, everything’s in order. (slyly) But Fiona isn't all ogre, is she? In fact, two familiar cat eyes appeared in the hole. Before he could finish, a fountain of fluid sprayed at his face and even got into his mouth, but thankfully, it was coming from a goldfish Fergus squirted water from as he giggled. They looked at each other while holding their chains. Then Fiona vanished next. I can see it in your eyes. A bit later, the four managed to reach dry land, recovering from the crash and splash. They looked down, waiting for Dragon to leap out at them, and when she did, that was their chance. Shrek: OK, OK, please, Fiona. Donkey: (singing) Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall Cookie: Fiona’s garbage. I am not going back to work for Old MacDonald. Rumpelstiltskin spun the crown around as he sighed. Rumpelstiltskin: No, Shrek, it’s not what I’ve done. Back in the castle, the ball didn't have anything to latch itself to, so it didn't take long for the ball itself to creak loudly, before falling back and crashing into the ground with a very loud thump. He went inside with the frog balloon tied to a string attached to a small gift basket he had. All the villagers gathered around with nasty scowls, shouting and jeering at the ogre prisoner. He even launched one at the witch that Donkey was riding with. You never met Fiona. She headed off to get ready herself, and Shrek tried to speak out, but didn't know what to say, and looked down, for he had once again failed to get a kiss from her. (points to Baba) Baba! (kicks a witch) Do it! He was placed on an armor vest, along with some wrist bands, and a helmet. 3. It was all a dark underground setting with dirt and roots as far as the eye can see. His day is...! When Shrek saw her, he grinned in so much relief. To be feared and hated. Rumpelstiltskin: So, tell me, how are you enjoying your day? The mob passed a brick wall. So unless you have Rumpelstiltskin’s head in there, I suggest you take your gift basket, get out of my tent and go make yourself useful! Cupcake? (mockingly) HAPPY OGRE DAY!!!! Back in the throne room, the villagers have left, and Rumpelstiltskin was leading Shrek, who had his hands shackled, to a dungeon room, with four witches encircling the prisoner and pointing their brooms at him. He was so tensed from this, that even his nasty toes with yellow toenails ripped out of his shoes and scraped the floor. He licked from the bowl, which he was apparently sharing with the mouse. Brogan was panicking as he continued dancing under the flute's power. Rumpelstiltskin: (to a witch) Take them away! The only thing Fiona cares about is her cause. Then, the scene changed to a picture of the still scene in the final page of a book Shrek had out. Shrek: All right, I knew it. (sees next one) And that... What he saw was Wolf wearing a Shrek head over his own, claiming to be captured by the pigs. The puppet's arm was grabbed by one of the witches and dragged away from the table, without Rumpelstiltskin caring to notice. Rumpelstiltskin: But, as I was saying, (takes pitcher of water and pours it into glass) I like to look at the goblet as half full. Shrek then slammed his big fist into the cake's center, making everyone gasp in shock. Shrek Script {Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. Got the sun in my eyes Come on! It doesn’t matter to me. Rumpelstiltskin: Didn't it look bigger in the catalogue? He and his kids barged in, and as he sang, the dronkeys flew around, chasing the giggling ogre babies. This wasn’t part of the deal! Shrek: No. She quickly stopped him, grabbed his arm and placed it behind his back, forcing him to leave. However, to their surprise and confusion, Rumpelstiltskin was not there. Send my hooves to my mama! You can’t eat me! It was as if, for one moment, Fiona had actually found her true love! (mockingly) Step right up! Shrek is the star of a highly successful series of animated films. Donkey: I don't care how big your eyes get, player, it's not going down. His hand was started to give a bright yellow glow, making him gasp. Mustn’t--I said, don’t! He then picked Donkey up and hugged him, with Donkey struggling. A liquid libation to ease that frustration? Shrek then managed to get a decent hold of the broom as he zoomed back to the bottom floor, dodging more incoming pumpkin bombs. He’s...he’s…. They luckily saw the pumpkins about to be thrown. Then she yelped as she started involuntarily breakdancing to the song, which is "Sure Shot" by the Beastie Boys, and the other two witches involuntarily got up and started dancing against their will as well, yelling in alarm. Shrek then dug in his shirt and pulled out the folded-up contract that he unfolded, and thought to have a better look at it. peeled skin. Who cares? Shrek: All that matters is that they're free, and Fiona is safe. (pushes Shrek out) Go on! True love didn't get me out of that tower. Cage Witch #2: Yeah, I’m driving, so I’m in charge of the music. Down below, the Piper was flute-speaking frantically to Rumpelstiltskin, explaining the situation, and the villain was furious. Cookie, on the other hand, was getting jiggy with the dance spell. (does a mocking jolly dance) See the dancing ogre! That’s what I said. She held him up. Rumpelstiltskin: Wolfie! Pinocchio ran around Shrek, singing and shouting indistinctly. Pinocchio, who was tangled upside-down in ropes and sleeping, heard this commercial and was interested as well. And I won't be surprised if it's a dream. Rumpelstiltskin: Awww, I bet Fiona would be really touched to hear that, but, hey, I guess you can tell her yourself. Come on, go! Everyone was stunned at first before they burst out laughing, while the horrified Rumpelstiltskin couldn't help but grieve for the loss of his pet, but before he could, he began to dance unwillingly, due to the Pied Piper using his flute power on the captured villain while outside the cage. 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